Pacifism

I wish for world peace, have been a vegetarian for nearly five years, hate guns, and wish that my military officer brother had chosen a different occupation. Despite this, I have to grimace when I hear people say that violence doesn't solve problems. Because goddammit, it does. I can attest to this based on my personal experience.
I was teased quite a bit when I was younger. Being that I was a socially awkward child with protruding buck teeth, a mild speech impediment, and an astounding mound of frizzy tentacles of hair, this was somewhat equivalent to shooting a tail-less fish in a very, very small barrel- all too easy. Since my monstrous ponytail was my most striking feature, I eventually became known as "the Yeti" among my peers. And so it was for about three years.
I believe it was sixth grade when all of this finally came to a head. I had the misfortune of being assigned a locker more or less in the middle of my three most persistent tormentors: three prematurely large boys who apparently had nothing better to do than complain about school with new and exciting cuss words, enjoy terrible metal bands, and make me sorry for my genetic makeup on a daily basis. Throughout this time my parents would continually ask me if I was being teased or bullied at school. I would always say no. There were several reasons for this blatant lie. First of all, I was sure that having my parents intervene through the school would only give these three a reason to heckle me beyond what they already mocked. Getting them disciplined through my parents and the administration would have been distant, impersonal, and overall unsatisfying. I would handle this myself.
During what must have been a rainy or otherwise unpleasant day, I finally did. The weather must have been poor, since we were kept inside for recess that day, herded into the gymnasium. I was sitting alone in an unilluminated section of the bleachers under an overhang when the three of them came and stood in front of me on the row beneath mine. One of them greeted me with a typical "Hey, Yeti." My normal response to this would have been my practiced silence and stony face, as I had always subscribed to the credo of "if you ignore them, they'll go away." But that had never worked. And this time I was cornered in the dark, facing a wall of massive enemies who I absolutely despised. So this time I kicked him in the crotch. I didn't hit anything vital, mind you. In fact, I was very careful not to, as that could have potentially caused him some real damage. I was not at all concerned with his physical well-being, but I was concerned that injuring him would turn the situation around and in an ironic twist I would be the one facing discipline. Instead, I hit him high on his inner thigh, about a quarter-inch to the left of what would have made this a much more interesting story. He immediately doubled over and moaned and they all left me alone very quickly. I can't remember the group of them teasing me anymore after that incident.
If you were hoping for a fabulous tale of switchblades and street-fighting vigilante justice, then I'm sorry to disappoint. I've yet to live that much. Still, I can't ignore this moment. The violence was precise and brief, but it worked beautifully. There are times when the world won't respect your silence and all your reason and passion only earns you a derisive guffaw straight in your face. Some people will only respond to a swift kick a hair's breadth from their nads. This applies to individuals, organizations, political parties, governments, armies, and any other imaginable combination of human beings. And as much as I wish it weren't so, they must be dealt with accordingly. Bullies don't listen to reason. Joseph Kony won't respond to peace talks. Hitler wasn't affected by diplomacy.
I officially admit it: sometimes violence is necessary. However, I'm not giving up my ideals and reaching for the grenade launcher just yet. In the situations where violence is truly unavoidable, it must be kept to an absolute minimum for the good of all involved. The fighters must maintain their focus on what is necessary for a decisive victory and not be carried away by their own passions and visceral desire for vengeance. Even in war, we must be precise and logical. If we cannot have peace, then let us at least prevent cruelty.